these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
