I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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