i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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