went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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