And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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