I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
