Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
