just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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