Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
