Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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