Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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