having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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