i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
