i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
two words...techno handjob
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
