They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
