drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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