i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
