rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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