I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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