i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
