Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
