Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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