you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
