I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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