Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
