i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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