Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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