There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I love you.
Bad choice
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize