R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
