I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
