A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
