he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
