I'm jealous of your bromance
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
