I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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