he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
