I cockslap morals
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
