speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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