Cold hands, warm shart.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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