The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
