He had one of those small greek statue penises
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
