No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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