smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the day after is always just damage control
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
