omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
