the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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