:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
