I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
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