my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize