Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
