Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
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I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises