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• (212): View more from New York

  Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you come get me at the bar

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ill be there in 10 min

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we stop off at build a bear on the way home

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home

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• (310): View more from California

  God, please protect all woman from micro-penises

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