They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
