Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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