he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
