people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
