It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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