I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
