I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I die, sorry about rent.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
