I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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