Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
