She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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