ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
