My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
