I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
