I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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