You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
